How To Look After Your Mental Health Before, During And After Divorce

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Whether you are at the beginning of your divorce or have recently completed your divorce, it is common to have feelings of stress and anxiety which can take their toll on your mental health.

During the divorce you may be anxious about the legal process itself and after your divorce you may be concerned about what your life may look like now and whether you can be happy again.

It can be mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting. It is important to take good care of your mental health. This will enable you to be in the best possible position to navigate through this challenging time, helping you to make strong informed decisions to move forward with your life.

5 ways you can look after your mental health:

1. Get good support

Having the right support system around you makes a positive difference when you’re going through this difficult time in your life. This can be made up of all different sorts of people and resources, e.g. supportive friends and family, a counsellor, divorce professionals.

It helps to talk about your feelings and not bottle things up. As well as emotional support, there may be other types of support you could benefit from, such as practical help you might need e.g. help around the house or with the kids.

Let others provide you with the support you need.

2. Compartmentalise 

Don’t let your thoughts and feelings about the divorce take over your whole life. Allow yourself time off from your divorce. Allocate yourself specific time to think about it or carry out actions that need to be done, but then stop and carry on with the rest of your day.

Distract yourself from the difficult thoughts and feelings overwhelming you and seeping into all other areas of your life. Don’t let the divorce experience take over everything. Your divorce is/was only one part of your life. It’s not who you are. Don’t let it define you.

3. Focus on the positives

When we’re either going through or have been through a challenging time, it can be difficult to see the positives that are still present in our life or soon will be. But it is important to focus on the good we have in our lives, to help lift our spirits and avoid the negative parts taking over. Choose to listen to and give positive messages to yourself.

The messages we tell ourselves have a huge impact on how we feel. Remind yourself that this difficult time will pass and won’t last forever. This is only one chapter in your life, and you can and will have a happy future.

4. Practice self-care

Be kind to yourself and recognise what you need to help you think and feel better about your present situation. Choose to do activities that relax you; TV, meditation, mindful colouring, playing games, yoga, listening to music, podcasts etc.

Daily acts of self-care however small, can play an important part in helping you feel calmer and more confident about your life at the moment.

Decide what you could fit in to each day to help you feel calmer and more at peace. Choose to spend time doing things you enjoy, or simply allowing yourself to rest.

5. Look after your physical health

Our overall well-being includes are mental, emotional and physical health. Problems with one can adversely affect the others. Stress and anxiety can take its toll on our general health and well-being.

Taking good care of your physical health can have a positive impact on your mental health. This involves making good choices for yourself with the right food, exercise, plenty of sleep and daily fresh air.

Wriiten by Rhiannon Ford divorce coach and consultant, providing practical help and emotional support to people struggling with divorce or separation, empowering them throughout the legal journey.

To find out more about Rhiannon’s divorce consultancy services, contact her via her website – or call her on 07970 231744.


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Kate Daly is co-founder of amicable and host of the The Divorce Podcast. Kate created The Divorce Podcast to discuss and demystify divorce, separation and co-parenting in the UK. In each episode, Kate is joined by experts in their field to explore divorce and separation from every angle.




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