Getting Back With Your Ex: The Pros And Cons

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Are you wondering whether or not you should get back together with our ex? Sometimes this can only be a fleeting thought of loneliness or missing something about them, and at other times we can really find ourselves wondering if breaking up with them was a terrible idea.

Some people say that you should never get back with an ex, but it is really not this simple! Every relationship is different, and there are many factors to consider before you make this decision. If you are not sure where to start, here are some of the pros and cons of getting back with your ex.

The pros of getting back with your ex

The breakup may have been a mistake

It is fairly common for breakups to happen over relatively unimportant things. Sometimes, the two of you can be unlucky enough to catch each other on a bad day and an argument over something minor can blow out of proportion and lead to an ill-advised separation.

Breakups can also happen because of a lack of communication; for example, each partner can feel like the other is losing interest in them, so both become more emotionally “closed off” and drift apart. Things like this can often be resolved through clear communication, and broken relationships can often be mended if they ended just through a misunderstanding.

You know them well

One of the advantages of getting back with your ex partner is that you already know a lot about them. However, they may not be exactly the same person they were before the breakup, especially if plenty of time has passed. This could be good or bad, depending on how the person has changed.

Company is good for you

Feelings of loneliness and isolation is the most challenging thing you have to deal with after a breakup. Perhaps the worst thing you can do when you feel depressed or sad is to isolate yourself.

Spending time with others can really help your heart heal, and your ex could provide the company that you need. However, you may find these feelings can be soothed by friendship just as much as (or maybe more than) by a romantic relationship.

If you get back together with your ex, make sure that it is because you miss that person specifically, not just because you are lonely in a way that could be soothed by other company. If you are unsure what to do, why not just have a conversation with your ex to see what kind of feelings it brings up?

Wait until your ex texts you, or text him, and see where it goes.

Suppose you take time to think about things, consider the reasons for the breakup, and decide that your relationship is worth saving and that the problems can be fixed. In that case, you will need to fix these problems before you can get your ex back.

The cons of getting back with your ex

The breakup happened for a reason

The time you take to think before acting should be used to work out the reasons for the breakup. It can help you to work out the potential solutions. These reasons may seem minor and unimportant in hindsight, but in reality they may be more serious.

The past does have a tendency to repeat itself in relationships. If you decide that you do want to get back together, the breakup causes need to be identified and resolved; otherwise, getting back together will probably not last too long.

Maybe it wasn’t as good as you remember

The feelings of loss, loneliness, and sadness that come with a breakup can lead you to look back on your relationship with your ex with rose-tinted glasses. However, was your relationship really healthy?

The reasons for your breakup may mean that the relationship ending was actually for the best, despite how sad you may feel. If your ex mistreated you or did not fulfil your needs, you may be better off on your own or with somebody else.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea

It might take awhile before you can even start thinking of seeing someone else. If you feel you are ready to go on a date or have a fling, don't feel bad about it. However, make sure that you are doing it because it is fun rather than an unhealthy coping mechanism. After all, what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for others.

If you are interested in something more serious, online dating may help you find your perfect match. Getting back into a relationship and ignoring why it ended is usually guaranteed to result in another breakup. The most important thing to do is not to rush into a decision: take your time to think about things before making the decision.

Written by Andy Boyd. Andy is a storyteller who loves good books and good jokes. In the rare moments he isn’t writing, you can find him jogging in the park or perfecting barbecue ribs. He is a contributing author at GoDates, and several other online magazines.

PHOTO CREDIT: CANDICE PICARD

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