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Dating at any age can be complicated and overwhelming, but over 40 dating is a particularly tricky minefield to navigate.
While you now have the experience that comes with age (of knowing exactly who you are and what you want), you’ve suddenly found yourself dumped into a dating scene that doesn’t look anything like the one you left behind years ago.
It’s no longer about meeting a nice man in a pub, or giving your phone number to a friend of a friend and waiting by your landline for “the call”. Now it’s all about updating your online profile, sending that first email, and late night texts.
Sounds like a lot to master, huh? Not really. Don’t worry, the game may look different, but you just need to learn the new rules. These days, it’s all about mastering modern communication, so read on, and find out how to dive headfirst into the over 40 dating scene with these 5 texting tips.
Just because you’re both mature adults who know what they want, that doesn’t mean you have to put all your cards on the table at once. Don’t hand out too much information too fast – a little bit of mystery goes a long way.
Likewise, don’t expect too much information from him from the get go. Bombarding him with text messages trying to get too close too soon will have the opposite effect and actually push him away.
Instead, take it nice and slow by sticking to light conversation topics over text message. Be flirty, fun, and organize your next date – but don’t go into anything to detailed over SMS. Leave that for face-to-face conversations.
The New When you’re dating after divorce in an over 40 dating scene, it’s easy to slip into the same old habits that you had with your ex. Don’t do that. Remember that you’re dating someone new, with new interests, desires, and styles.
Old jokes, overly romantic or sexual texts, and pet names that you’ve used before are all big no-no’s with someone fresh. Instead, try to create your own new love story together. You’re a fresh canvas.
Make new inside-jokes based on recent dates, revel in the first time that he sends you a totally fresh romantic text, and make it special the first time you send him a risqué one right back. It’s all about “out with the old and in with the new”.
It’s easy to get caught up in your own drama and walk into every new relationship with a giant chip on your shoulder, but you need to make an effort to turn that negativity around. In over 40 dating, everyone you meet has a colorful story – you’re not the only one to feel lost, betrayed, or disappointed.
Don’t use text messaging to vent frustration, or complain to your new man about anything, old or new. Stay light, positive, and flirty while texting, and that’s how he will think of you.
Write every text message with the intention of making him smile, and you’re well on your way to scoring Mr. Right. Whatever you do, save your boring essays for someone else (say, a really good friend who loves you no matter what), but keep it under wraps around him. Long, drawn out texts kill passion and romance, and are labor intensive to respond to.
Times haven’t changed that much, you still need a variety of communication methods to keep things alive. Texting should only be a portion of your modern communication arsenal – like an appetizer, texts are there to wet your hunger and satisfy you until the bigger meal.
Coax him into calling you, with suggestive texts about wanting to hear his voice. Email him a special photo or send him an article on something he is interested in, such as grilling. Or better yet, organize to meet up in person so that the sparks can really fly. Variety avoids things from going stale.
Getting back into the game of over 40 dating doesn’t have to be hard. Embrace the changes that have occurred, and you’ll be able to jump straight back into the playing field with no problems at all. And if you ever get lost along the way, just refer straight back to these texting tips for over 40 dating, and you’ll always stay on the right path.
Written by Claudia Cox creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping people improve their relationships through creative texting. To read more by Claudia, visit www.textweapon.com
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