Empty Nest Syndrome: Coping Tips For Parents in Retirement

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Divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience for any couple, but it can be particularly challenging for parents whose children are leaving the nest.

The empty nest syndrome is a common experience for parents who feel a sense of loss and emptiness when their children move out of the family home.

For divorced parents, this can be even more challenging, as they may not have their ex-spouse to lean on during this difficult time and may be transitioning into the retirement phase of their lives. Here are some tips to help navigate these transitions.

Acknowledge your feelings

When children leave home, parents may experience a range of emotions, such as sadness, loneliness, and a sense of loss.

It's important for divorced parents to recognise that these emotions are normal and to allow themselves time to process their feelings.

Pushing these emotions aside or trying to ignore them can make it even more challenging to cope. In fact, it's healthy to acknowledge and express these feelings in a constructive way. O

ne way is to engage in activities that help you express your emotions, such as writing in a journal or creating art.

By allowing yourself to feel your emotions and processing them in a healthy way, you can better navigate the transition to an empty nest and retirement.

Stay connected with your children

The relationship between a parent and child can be one of the most important and enduring relationships in one's life.

Just because children move out of the family home, it doesn’t mean that the relationship must end. In fact, it’s important for divorced parents to make a conscious effort to stay connected with their children even after they have left the nest.

Regular communication, such as phone calls, text messages, or video calls, can help parents stay informed about their children's lives and offer support and guidance when needed.

It’s important to remember that the relationship between parents and their children is a lifelong one, and the bond can continue to grow and strengthen even after children move out.

However, moving out is a big change for them too, so respecting their privacy is a must so you don’t allow yourself to become emersed in what they’re doing.

Find a new purpose

Retirement is a significant life transition that can bring about a range of emotions and challenges. However, it can also provide a unique opportunity for divorced parents to pursue new interests and passions.

Many individuals find that they have more time and freedom to explore new activities and hobbies that they previously didn't have time for due to work and parenting responsibilities. learning a new skill, such as cooking, photography, or a new language, can be a stimulating and rewarding experience.

It’s also a great way to fill up any extra space from your child’s room and can urge you to declutter to transform it back into your own space.

These activities can provide structure and a sense of purpose during the empty nest phase, helping divorced parents to adjust to their new lifestyle and find fulfilment outside of their parental roles.

Connect with others

Socialisation is a crucial aspect of coping with the empty nest and retirement, particularly for divorced parents who may feel a sense of loss or isolation. Joining a support group for divorced parents can be an excellent way to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

These groups can offer a safe and supportive space to share feelings, seek advice, and develop new friendships. Building new relationships can help ease feelings of loneliness and provide a sense of belonging during this challenging time.

Alternatively, this new found time can be well spent by rekindling old friendships that may have gotten lost in the realm of busy parenthood.

By prioritising socialisation and connection, divorced parents can find a supportive network to help them navigate this new chapter of their life.

Coping with the empty nest and incorporating retirement can be challenging for divorced parents. However, by acknowledging your feelings, staying connected with your children, finding a new purpose, prioritising self-care, connecting with others, creating a new routine, and staying positive, you can navigate these transitions and find joy in this new chapter of your life.

Written by Lily Meyers
PHOTO: MARCUS AURELIUS

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Kate Daly is co-founder of amicable and host of the The Divorce Podcast. Kate created The Divorce Podcast to discuss and demystify divorce, separation and co-parenting in the UK. In each episode, Kate is joined by experts in their field to explore divorce and separation from every angle.