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There’s no denying that the first Christmas after your breakup can be really difficult. It seems like everyone around you is happy and full of Christmas cheer, whilst all you want to do, is curl up on the sofa with your box of tissues.

How you're feeling is totally normal and it's ok to be upset and emotional – but there are things you can do to make it slightly easier for yourself.

10 tips to help you get through the Christmas period :

• Start new traditions – Are you still doing the same things this year, just without your partner? All this does is emphasise the gaping hole in your life. Instead, look at this year as an opportunity to start some new traditions and get rid of the ones that you never enjoyed.  What traditions did you do as a couple that you never really enjoyed? Now’s the time to start some new ones as part of this next chapter in your life.
• Avoid too much alcohol – although this might seem like a good idea at the time as a way of getting through the day, it will only make you feel worse in the long run. Alcohol is a depressant so will significantly lower your mood and affect your sleep.
• Feel your emotions – There’s no denying this period will be difficult, especially if it’s your first Christmas after your breakup and it’s not something you wanted. If you need to have a good cry that’s ok – it’s all part of the healing process and you need to feel your emotions before you can start moving on.
• Volunteer – Although it may not feel like it – there are a lot of people worse off than you at this time of year. Think about volunteering for a charity that’s close to your heart. It’s a great distraction. As well as doing some good for other people, the act of kindness makes you feel better about yourself and activates your ‘happy hormones’.
• Treat yourself – Buy yourself your own Christmas present. Show yourself that you’re special and worth it. Treat yourself to something you’ve had your eye on for a while or something that you ex would never have bought you!
• Get outside in nature – Getting outside in nature is great for your mental health. If you need some space from family and friends then take yourself off for a walk and either have some quiet time, and notice all your surroundings, or listen to some uplifting music or a podcast.
• Think about who you want to spend your time with – be around people who are fun to be with and make you feel good about yourself. If you have other single friends think about spending the day together. Be selfish this year and spend the time exactly how you want to.
• Make a plan – Make sure you have a plan for how you’ll spend the Christmas period rather than leaving it to chance. This doesn’t mean you have to cram it with loads of activities - but have a good balance of spending time with loved ones and time to yourself (if that’s what you want).
• Have a playlist and movie list – Prepare a playlist of uplifting songs. Music is really powerful at helping to lift our mood and can change our state if we’re feeling low. Also have a list of all your favourite comedy films and box sets that never fail to make you laugh out loud. Otherwise, finally start that boxset you’ve been meaning to watch for ages and immerse yourself in it.
• Have a second Christmas – If your ex has the kids this year - then plan to have your own Christmas day together when they’re with you. It can still be a really special day with presents and Christmas lunch. It will give you something to focus on and to look forward to. Make sure you arrange a time to face time the kids on Christmas Day so you still get to speak to them.  

Even though it’s likely this will be a difficult time of year for you – remember that it will pass, and you will find happiness again. Use some of the time to reflect on what you want your life to look like this time next year. Think about what you could do now to start moving closer to that. Reach out to your friends and family for support when you need it – they’ll be more than willing to help.

Written by Sarah Woodward Divorce coach. www.sarah-woodward.com

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PHOTO CREDIT: ROBERTO NICKSON