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So, you're getting divorced. It might be because you're angry, or it might be because you want to celebrate, but before you announce your divorce on social media, think twice.
When we are angry, it's easy to want to lash out, and it's also easy to want everybody to know what's happened to us; because whether we are conscious of it or not, we want support - we want to know that we were ‘right’.
In this day and age, the quickest and easiest way to get that validation is to turn to social media. But we forget. We forget that social media is forever. You see, we move on emotionally just as quick as our social media feed.
As our feed moves on we forget what we said, our mood changes, our circumstances change and everything is different; except whatever you said on social media is still there, and it can be recovered.
Your children might be too young to have social media accounts now, but they won’t be forever. One day they might have access to your social media account. Would you really want them reading the things you wrote about their other parent? No? Then don't post it on social media.
When I sat in the family courts, it became increasingly frequent that people would turn up at court with reams and reams of printed social media accounts. This becomes ‘evidence’. There is nothing more irritating to a judge than having to look at such documents. Rarely do they show either of you in a good light.
Rarely does it actually have any bearing on the case, it just costs you money, because time is money in divorce. So, if you wouldn't want a judge to see, it don't post it!
By announcing your divorce on social media, you are effectively inviting people to comment and to have an opinion. When you start posting about your divorce on social media, your friends start acting as barrack-room lawyers.
At best this is unhelpful, and at worst can cost you money. Your friends tell you about their own experience. They tell you what you should do, what should ask for and what should fight for. Now unless they are legally qualified, and they know the details of your financial circumstances, their opinion is actually worthless. Even dangerous.
As well-meaning as they might be, you need to get proper advice about your circumstance. Your circumstances are the only ones that are relevant. So there you have it, three good reasons why you shouldn't announce your divorce on social media. Keep it private. Keeping it private means keep it simple. It means taking advice from those who really know.
Of course confide in some friends but choose them wisely and remember, the decisions you make are yours and yours alone. You have to live by them forever.
PHOTO CREDIT: JASON HOWIE