10 Divorce Survival Strategies For Women

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Divorce is something you definitely were not counting on and it always comes as an unpleasant surprise. Even worse, it immediately leaves a huge gap in your plans for the future. After all, you were planning to spend it with your soon to be ex-partner, and now it has all gone with the wind.

However, this is no time to reminisce, but rather face the challenge and overcome it. These ten strategies will help you get back on your feet

File first

This is usually suggested as the female empowering act, but things are a bit different Down Under, aren’t they? Here, you have to be separated for at least a year before you can officially file for divorce.

Therefore, we would rather rephrase this as “be the first to suggest separation”. If you believe you have enough material to get divorced, face your fear(s) and suggest the inevitable. It is true what you have heard – taking control over your fate feels extremely empowering.

Accept it

You may feel relief, shock, grief, exhilaration…a whole range of emotions. It’s a real roller coaster, but usually, sadness is what can’t be avoided. Like it or not, but we all tend to observe divorce as a kind of a failure of our life project – our marriage. On account of this, it’s perfectly OK to take some time and deal with your emotions, but don’t forget to get back on track. Accept what is done, and move on.

Inform everybody

Your closest family and friends should hear it from you, and as for the others, do it with as less hassle as possible. For instance, it is quite alright to send informative emails about your recent decision.

Maintain kids’ routines

As though it may be for you, it is even more for the children. Everybody needs time to get used to mom and dad weekends, and who’s picking who after training this time.

Do your best not to disrupt their usual routines (playdates, trainings, school, sleepovers etc.). In these turbulent times, it is good they have something solid to hold on to apart from your love. That way, they will truly believe you when you say their position in your life will never change.

Manage your funds

This is of utmost importance for your financial survival. Hardly any woman’s financial assets increase during the separation period. If you are the one remaining in the home, then the utility bills are all your concern now. No one can predict court expenses with definite certainty either.

To gain full control of your finances, analyse your current state, and apply special financial strategies recommended by divorce lawyers. The time has come to become completely financially independent.

Make a bucket list

Separation period is no time for grieving (at least, not all of it). When it seems your life has stopped and the future is uncertain, sit down and make a good old bucket list.

What have you always wanted to do, but…?

Travel, learn a new language, take up a new hobby, sign up for a spinning class? There are no more excuses. You have a new life ahead of you, and a new chance to start checking things off the list.

Find proper support

There will be times when you will need a shoulder to cry on. It may be someone close to you but bear in mind that if you feel you’re really struggling or their advice isn’t too helpful, don’t shy away from talking to a professional. Do everything that will make you feel better about the situation.

To date or not to date?

Eventually, it’s up to you. If we talk for weeks and months, there is no uniform rule when it is best to start dating. General advice would be to start when you are feeling emotionally stable enough to give chance to a new relationship. After all, dating is supposed to be fun and without any pressure, isn’t it? Nothing has changed in the game of love while you were married, so there is no need to be anxious about it.

Be very organized

Becoming super organized is absolutely necessary. Even if by now you used to wing most of the things, it will not be possible any more. You will need to learn how to delegate and become more responsible, especially when it comes to paperwork and deadlines.

The court is always going to demand tons of documents, so make sure you collect them on time for the presentation or you are going to seem irresponsible. This is particularly important when fighting for children custody.

Don’t forget to relax

You are bound to be in frenzy and out of your comfort zone on lots of occasions. Nevertheless, it is mandatory you take good care of yourself.

Do whatever makes you unwind – stroll, ride a bike, meditate, go out dancing, read a book or go boxing. Being happy is essential, too! Finally, take a deep breath, and get ready. You’ve got this. Just take it one strategy at a time, and you’ll do just great.

Tanya is a writer, guest author at several authority websites, and a single mom of two boys. You can reach her at mayert685@gmail.com

PHOTO: SIXTEEN MILES OUT

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